Tag Archives: Wife

My Husband’s Standard for the Treatment of Women

The owner of the company was a man, maybe in his fifties; white hair, but still youthful. He came over to give us an estimate for some work we need done. He seemed nice enough. He smiled, greeted our children, and appeared to have our best interests in mind.

While we were walking him through the job, his cell phone began ringing.

“Probably my wife.” He said, slightly shaking his head as he silenced the phone.

Within several minutes the phone rang twice more. We assured him we didn’t mind if he answered the call.

“Hello? I’m still on a job estimate.” He paused and listened.

His lips tightened and his voice hardened. “I told you, they’re in the back.” he said, somewhat exasperated.

He wrapped up the call. To me, he had not done anything out of the ordinary. He completed the rest of the estimate kindly and left.

But, as I would learn later, my husband was disturbed by what he witnessed.

In fact, my husband chose another company, in spite of getting the lowest estimate from this man, simply because he didn’t like the way he had spoken to his wife.

My husband grew up in a Muslim family. When he reached college, his interest in Islam and religions intensified. He began studying Islam as well as Christianity and comparative religion. After completing his bachelor’s, he travelled overseas to study Islam and the Arabic language. While away, he benefitted from many scholars of Islam. Upon returning, he has been dedicated to teaching Islam to Muslims, founding several institutions to that end.

His days and nights are usually spent studying, teaching or working for Islam.

He’s also gentle and even tempered.

I often insist on asking him, “Are you mad?” and he always responds, “Do I ever get mad?”

The truth is, my husband implements the teachings of Islam and follows the prophet Muhammad who was asked repeatedly by a man for advice and responded each time simply, “Do not get angry.” (Narrated in Sahih Bukhari)

This is the power of Islam, to overcome even strong emotions such as anger. In fact, as indicated in the advice of the prophet Muhammad above, Islam has the power to prevent those emotions from boiling up in the first place. When it is the guidance for everyday life, the results are beautiful.

I’m so fortunate and grateful to have a companion who is concerned with living in a way pleasing to his Maker, and that my Creator has guided His creation to “Be kind to women.” as explained and emphasised by His last messenger, Muhammad.

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What My Husband Said Before He Left

Last night, it was time for my husband to go.

Before he opened the car door, he turned and looked intently into my eyes.

The words he uttered caused tears to well up. I felt my heart quiver.

He had to go.

But only after entrusting me into God’s care with these words:

*”أستودعكم الله الذي لا تضيع ودائعه”

I entrust you to God, The One Who does not lose what He has been entrusted with.”

Through this simple sentence, I felt his care, and his concern for me while he is away.

It conveys to me that he sees himself as my protector in life, that I am under his care; his responsibility. While he is away and always, there is no greater protector than the One who has power over all things, so my husband asked Him to safeguard me.

I feel treasured and loved.

These are the beautiful manners taught to us by the prophet Muhammad.

Does this prayer guarantee that I won’t get hurt, or that nothing undesirable will happen?

No, it’s not that…

What it means, is that as we part, we remind ourselves to put our trust in God. We remember not to fear, that which we have no control over, but to place into God’s hands our affairs and our lives. Whatever happens only occurs with His ultimate wisdom.

I found the moment my husband left, so beautiful; so moving.

Though I yearn for his return, the peace inspired by his words; by our way of life – Islam – makes me feel at ease.

Likewise, I entrust my husband, my partner who gives so much of himself to provide me and our children with a happy and comfortable life, my guardian, my noble knight, into God’s care with these words:

**”أَسْتَوْدِعُ اللَّهَ دِينَكَ وَأَمَانَتَكَ وَخَوَاتِيمَ عَمَلِكَ”

“I place your religion, your faithfulness and the ends of your deeds in the trust of  God”

 ***”زَوَّدَكَ اللَّهُ التَّقْوَى وَغَفَرَ لَكَ ذَنْبَكَ وَيَسَّرَ الْخَيْرَ لَكَ حَيْثُمَا كُنْتَ “

“May God bless you with righteousness and forgive your sins and make goodness easy for you wherever you are”

I thank God for guiding me to this beautiful way of life, so rich and so profound, and for all the love in my life. I thank Him for all those who care for me, and all those I love and care for. I thank our Maker for a husband who remembers Him and whose actions and words are guided by that remembrance.

A beach with palm trees is not the closest thing to paradise on Earth. For me, it is life lived in Islam that delivers a taste of bliss.

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Authentic sources of the prayers mentioned here:

*Saheeh Ibn Majah 2/133 

**Saheeh At-Tirmidhi 2/155

***Sahih At-Tirmidhi, 3/155